Roro Times

My First Love

2011-03-11T18:32:00.000-08:00

A couple months back heard a pastor give a sermon on "why churches fall apart", during his sermon I felt myself relating this to my personal life and relationship with Jesus. Since this sermon I have not been able to knock this nudge to share so here goes...

Revelations 2:1-5 ¹

“To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. ² I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. ³You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.

⁴ Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. ⁵ Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

Verse 4: You have forsaken the love you had at first.

When I think of my first true love I think of Jesus. (Remember I said TRUE love). There is no love more pure and true. Pastor Emery spoke of churches falling apart because they loose sight of their first true love, Christ. I began to think of how at times, many times, we can begin to feel so distance from Christ. Is that because we have lost sight?

I remember when I first really gave my life to Christ, I prayed all the time, read the bible, walked so close to his word then comes a plateau (that's what I call it). I felt distance from Christ, like he was no longer by my side. When I look back I realize it was kind of like our human relationships, I got comfortable. I put a halt on the closeness I had with Christ. Stopped reading on a regular basis, began conforming to the world and it's ways.

Ever feel this distance?

Reading this scripture I realize getting close to Christ again is so easy. Well first we are really never distant, he is always by our side. To get the excitement, the joy that being close to Christ brings we must go back to the basics. We must go back to the times when we put him first. When walking and talking with him along with studying his word was a top priority in our life. As the scripture says...

Repent and do the things you did at first.

Pastor Emery said it well... "Remember, Repent, and Repeat"

Remember what used to be

Repent for falling away

Repeat the things you did in the beginning

Can I get a... AMEN!!!!

2011-02-19T17:35:00.000-08:00

So for about 4 weeks now I have been leading a Mom's bible study, well, God is leading and I'm shadowing him:) It has been an amazing 4 weeks, I really don't want it to end. I'm already thinking of a next study we can do so that it won't end!!!! The women in the study with me are great and I feel like we are all learning so much off each other. We are truely a room full of Mom's after Gods own heart. There is no other way I would want to spend my Sunday nights!!!!

The study has and is teaching me so much about being a Mom, such as...

-Until you wake up every single morning and know w/o a doubt that "today" if I don't get anything else done, I MUST teach my child/children about my Lord Jesus, we are aiming at the wrong target.

- God ask us as Moms to teach our children diligently to see him in all aspects of life.

- It takes dedicated parents to produce consecrated children.

- You need NO special education or training to teach your children the ways of God.

- Deuteronomy 6:7 "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."

- PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!!!!

The list could go on and on but that is just some great things that stand out in my head. I have changed my way of parenting. I am parenting for the glory of God, not for anyone else and let me tell you the blessings are amazing!!!!! Tonight for the 2nd time Noah said Amen at the end of me praying with him. I know it is so simple but it means the world to me to hear my 17 month old praising his heavenly Father. God is doing amazing things in my heart and in Noahs. What a awesome God we serve!!!

NO RESOLUTIONS JUST PRAYERS...

2011-01-08T08:28:00.000-08:00

With the new year 2011 approching of course we always think of New Year Resolutions. You know the ones most of us new follow through with... Hahaha!!!!! Yea of course I would love to lose 10 pounds, be more organized, work out more, or even cook more but who am I kidding, not going to make that a resolution so that 3 months from now I can have a pity party because it didn't happen. I have though been thinking really hard about my prayer request, for myself, for my family and for others.

Right after Noah was born, God gave me a vision of a bible study for Mom's (or anyone with children in their life). After alot of praying and preparation this new year is bring the beginning of that study. I have learned so much about obedience and patience in getting ready for this. I have also learned how to pray for my baby, not just for the right now life but for his future and that is the beginning of my prayer request... I pray that Noah will seek Jesus as his best friend as a child and hold tight to that friendship through out life. Samuel heard Gods calling around age 12 or 13. Samuel declared to be God's servant in 1 Samuel 3. Before Samuel was born Hannah prayed and Vowed to God... "O Lord of host, if you will...give your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life (1Samuel 1:11). Her prayer was answered with Samuel. I can relate I prayed and God gave me Noah. By age 3 it appears Samuel was well on his way to becoming a child after the heart of God. At this young age he "ministered to the Lord before Eli the priest". I pray that my heart never be less than a heart after God and that I set the best example for my Noah.

It took me almost 30 years to really understand the love of God, I pray it never takes my child that long. I pray he understand and begins to experience God's full blessings at the earliest age possible. May he never have a fear for this life to end so that he may spend eternity walking hand in hand and singing with his heavenly Father. May he never be tempted to conform to the ways of this sinful world but with each day of his life find renewing in the ways of God. With each morning he wakes, I pray he walks and talks with the presence of Jesus flowing out of his life.

I know the salvation of our children is between them and God but that will never stop this from being the prayer I pray for Noah and all the other children in my life. Our world is crumbling around us and I do believe prayer is the beginning of our answers and our children are our future.

This bible study I'm beginning is just a start to us parents taking a stand against sin in honor of the hearts of our babies.

Meant to Be - Steven Curtis Chapman

2010-11-28T11:38:00.000-08:00

I heard this song on a Veggietale video and as the tears filled my eyes, I praise God, I was meant to be.

Some have heard this story and they are thinking "here she goes again" but with each and every year that passes I learn to value my life so much more through it all and there have been years past when I found myself asking God questions but this year more than ever I am learning the lesson, that I was meant to be and for that I am THANKFUL for my life!

16 years ago today on Groomtown Rd, Greensboro while in the car with 2 dear friends we crashed head on with another car. I remember nothing of the accident but the stories I have been told leave me speechless! My dear friend David lost his life that day and for a long time that weight heavy on me, I felt as if somehow it was my fault. His GF and I were badly injured.

Before entering surgery I asked for my pastor and he came and prayed with me. He left shakin' up a bit and later told my parents that I prayed along with him word for word. Let me add my right jaw was broken in multi place and left jaw was fracture. How on earth was I able to mutter a word? GOD!!!! Thats how!

I told my Mom there was a man who was with me right after the wreck happen and he stayed with me til the paramedics arrived. He kept telling me I was going to be ok. When the paramedics arrived there was nobody on the site of the accident, no man was to be found. I later realized that was my angel, my guardian angel protecting me.

Then there was a dream that my Mom had. David was an Angel and he wanted us to know that he was home, he was in heaven and all was going to be ok.

Like I said before, after 16 year I'm just now understanding full circle what 2nd chances are all about and that it is all part of God's almighty plan. I think of these things today and it takes my breath away how God has worked all things for the good, just as he said he would.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

God knew 16years ago that today on this day I would look back and praise his mighty name for the hope and future he has blessed me with.

He has never left or forsaken me just as he said he wouldn't in Hebrews 13:5.

Today more than ever before I am thankful that my life was meant to be.

I sing my praises to the highest...

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

The Beauty in front of the lies...

2010-11-06T18:23:00.000-07:00

Satan was an Angel- the most beautiful angel there was... Isaiah 14:12 "You have been thrown down to the earth, you who destroyed the nations of the world." Here his evil ways remain, to destroy, and devour our lives. Not with ugly lies but beautiful appealing things.

I had recently been praying for God to show me what exactly does Romans 12:2 mean... "Do not copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is."

What a great time for Pastor S. to start a sermon series on Satan, and how he strives to destroy us with his beautiful lies. Satan is the ruler of all worldly things, behavior and customs. He was beautiful as I said, what makes us think he doesn't beautify his evil ways in order to lure us in. The sins of this world can look beautiful so I say follow Roman 12:2. Do not conform to the patterns of this world, the lies of Satan. Be renewed by the grace of the Holy Spirit. Care not if you are talked about, or looked at because you do not conform. You may at some point 2nd guess yourself but be assured you will know what God whats you to do and you will know his pleasing and perfect will. Let us not live in the beauty of Satans lies but in the beauty of Gods GRACE.

2Corinthians 4:4

1John 2:15-17

Vote and say YEE_HAW

2010-09-29T18:15:00.000-07:00

http://www.gapcastingcall.com/GapCastingCall/EntryDetail.html?

id=25735

Vote for Noah in the Gap casting call. The link is above, you can vote 1 time a day. Come on fellow bloggers. Noah says a big YEE-HAW:)

Retreat

2010-09-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

This was a devotional I prepared for my church women's retreat and thought I would share with you what God laid on my heart for the weekend. Hope you enjoy!

When preparing for the retreat about 2 weeks prior all the excitement diminished and all I felt was anxiety and fear over leaving Noah. I knew God had called me to this retreat and to provide the ladies with devotionals that I had been praying over for months. I had learn so much in the preparations for this yet it didn't matter to me anymore. So on Saturday driving home with Noah after having him stay the night with my Mom for a "trial run" I was over come with anxiety. Crying to the point of not being able to breathe, everything inside me hurt and I was thinking of every way I could to get out of going!!!! At this point I really thought... God will provide another speaker if I can't go. Sunday morning I visited Noah's babysitters church in High Point and the service was great so good I decided to go back for the evening bible study. That was when God spoke to me loud and clear!!!!! I want to share what he said... or what his Mom said:)

Let look at John 2. Jesus preforms his first miracle turning the water to wine, at a wedding. Oh awesome would it be to have Jesus at your wedding, I mean yea he is there through the Holy Spirit but to actually have him there in human form... WOW. Ok so Jesus mother informed him they were out of wine, he said "my time has not come yet." Then in v. 5 she tells the servants... "DO WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU." We are all servants of our Jesus and you know as well as me Mom is always right:) Well most of the time but especially this time. It hit me like a ton of bricks I have to go to the retreat, Jesus has told me to!

Let's take this one step farther... WHY? Look at Luke 19, Jesus is about to make his triumphant entry, as they are entering the towns he sends 2 disciples ahead of him and tells them to go untie the donkey they will find and bring it to him. Can you imagine what they are thinking? Well, he answers the question before they have time to ask... I want you to underline v. 31 If anyone ask, 'Why are you untying that colt?' just say, 'The Lord needs it.' "

I then know I had to put all the reasons for not coming on the retreat behind me not just because he ask me to but because he needed me too. Doing what Jesus ask us to do requires complete trust and I had to give that to him. God has a plan to use me this weekend, I couldn't say no! God has a plan to use you too, are you going to answer with a YES? No matter what circumstances you are going through know he has a plan. When I was driving home Saturday feeling like my insides were closing in God has a plan but I had to say Yes!!!!

My prayer for you tonight is that you say yes to that calling God has for you because you won't regret it. If you are wondering... What is it God is asking me to do? Take time, spend time with God, in his word and listen to him. It's hard to hear someone in the crazy loud world we live in, even on the phone don't you usually have to go to a quiet room or most moms favorite a bathroom:) to hear and have a conversation? Well God wants the same, your undivided attention, quiet time for you to listen to him. And when you hear him I pray that you say YES!

Why God?

2010-08-19T18:30:00.000-07:00

Ok so the radio station that I normally listen to KLove is having this contest type thing where people are sending in videos saying why they have chose God in their life. As I was listening to this be advertised I began to think... Why have I chose God? Well yes because he is my heavenly Father, Savior, and I can't wait to spend the rest of eternity with him in heaven but deeper than that. How did it happen in my life that I chose God? I do believe in the everyday chaos we forget to remember and be thankful for these things. As I started reminiscing on my life and why I chose God, what an emotional journey that was for my mind. I saw all over how AMAZING he has been to me. So I thought I would share... Why I chose God?

The first big event I remembered was when I was 14. On our way to school the first day after Thanksgiving break. In the car was me, a BF David (he was driving), and his GF. A crazy sudden decision was made to pass a car this foggy morning and we crashed into another car head on. I don't remember alot. I was told though that I spoke of a man who stayed with me and told me I was going to be ok until the paramedics arrived. Nobody ever saw this man, kind of like he was vanished into thin air. After arriving at the hospital before going into surgery I ask to see my pastor. He came to pray with me before surgery and told my parents that I prayed every word he prayed along with him. God was so there!!!!!! My face was almost disfigured from all the breaks. My Friend David died being transfered to Baptist. What a traumatic experience for a 14 y/o. My God held me together through it all and I became closer to him. I learned so much from this... #1 was never take anything for granted! I was only 14 I took everything for granted. I don't know why this wreak happen to me, why I lost a wonderful friend at such a young age but I do know God never left my side.

Years of being a believer came and went. I would turn away and get back on track with God. I did so many things but God always held me together and in my crazy days protected me. Whenever I thought I had ruined it, I had done something God would never forgive me for. God would send me this peace beyond all understanding. God is my Father so I definitely got punished in his loving way. It was always a learning experience.

I was growing to be a young women who loved God and longed to know him better.

Then after I was married the time came when I wanted a baby. This is big event #2. My husband and mine baby timeline were not the same. Confused and broken hearted I cried out to God for answers. I prayed like never before. There was a song from Nicole C Mullen called "Blessed and Broken" and there was a part of that song that I made my prayer for weeks... "messed up and wounded, undone and yielded, I offer up this sacrifice, it's not alot but it's all I've got what can you do with such a life? Then Jesus took and blessed it and all the love that filled his eyes when he held it and broke it cause only then I multiplied. So I say change me and please bless me, Lord hold me and please break me, I know you'll take me and I'm asking you to bless me and Lord please hold me and I know your going to break me and I'll multiply." As I prayed these words I would laugh as I said and I'll multiply. I would think how funny would it be if God literary multiplied me with offspring. Remember people God has a sense of humor too. I wasn't really praying for a baby at this time I was praying more for guidance. If it was God's timing for us to have a baby I would be ok with that but I needed him to show me his will right now, to tell me "it's not time". So after humbling myself at the foot of God like never before I found out I was pregnant. WOW!!!!!! God had a plan all along. Me being "Blessed and Broken" was part of it. Boy did this experience bring me and God closer. Sitting back and looking at his work in the situation was amazing, it was definitely beyond understanding. I'm still in awe over it!

Then came big event #3. The birth of my baby boy "Noah" was an amazing and big event but let me tell you... The first year has been the ultimate event of my life!!! No words can explain how being a Mom has made me understand and love my God so much more. Talk about beyond understanding! I guess it took me being a Mom to feel how much God really loves me. I love that baby no matter what and nothing could ever change that. To think my God loves me that much and more. I will never leave Noahs side, if he needs me I will always be there no matter what. My God is always with me and never leaves my side no matter what i do! I'm sure the day will come and Noah will be punished by me but only because I love him and I only want what is best, so therefore I fully understand when my God punishes me for my own good and protection! God opening an all new understanding for me this past year and it has been amazing knowing and learning God more and more through the eyes of my son literally.

Let me also add that through becoming a Mom I learned and understand that up to this point I have become the women God wants me to be and now he wants more from me. He gave me another "description".

I choose God not only because he chose me first but because he will never leave or forsake me, and his love for me is beyond all human understanding! He has held me together in my darkest hours and blessed me with my greatest joys!

None but Jesus

2010-05-28T18:58:00.000-07:00

I have meditated over and over this song as I feel God is showing it to me as I prepare for our church women's retreat coming up in Sept.

As I listen to this song over and over the emotions and tears flow at the unfailing love and faithfulness of our Lord. We are so unworthy to be loved so much but in his eyes we are beautiful jewels that shine his perfect work.

As I read John 1 my faith is restored in knowing my God created EVERYTHING (including me) and everything he made is PERFECT!!!! Nothing exist that he didn't make. Being saved in him gives us light in our darkest hour. Vs 5 "The light shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." No matter where you are, what situation you are in he is your light and he will shine through all your darkness if you allow! We are only here because God made us here and he has enable us to use all the special gifts he gave us. We are unique and valuable with God but without we are nothing, abandoning the purpose for which we are made.

I read on about John the Baptist and it dawns on me... we, being saved by the blood of Jesus are all in a sense like John the Baptist. To go out and preach the good news. It is important to remember we are not the light that shines out, we are God's instrument as he allows the light to shine from us for all the unbelivers to see.

Vs. 16 "We have all benefited from the rich blessings he has brought to us-one gracious blessing after another." The blessings of the Lord are never-ending if we allow them in our lives. Living as a child of God we will continue to benefit from his blessings.

In vs 22 John the Baptist is asked, who are you? What do you have to say for yourself? John replies with the words of Isaiah: "I am a voice shouting in the wilderness, Prepare a straight pathway for the Lord is coming!" The leaders kept pressing for John to say who he was because the people where expecting the Messiah to come but John only emphasized WHY he had come- to prepare the way.

So I ask... Who are you and why have you come?

The Words We Say...

2010-04-27T07:09:00.000-07:00

So this past Sunday my preacher did a sermon on speaking and it really touched me so I just thought I'd share...

In James 3, James speaks on controlling the tongue. After reading this chapter I was like WOW the tongue is really a vicious part of the body. In v. 2 it states "we have all made mistakes" I think or at least hope we all know that. It goes on to say "but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in ever other way." So in a way it's saying to me is that out of all the things we can control about ourself the tongue is the hardest. WOW!!! Who knew! The tongue is a small thing that can cause huge damage if not placed under control. Remember though we can't control anything on our own, not without the help of God. Afterall he is ultimently in control so he will help us to have self control. James compares the damage of the tongue to raging fires, raging fires full of wickedness. I'm sure we have all seen forest fire on TV, well the damage of the tongue is worse. We can fix or ruin someone by the word we say, words have lifelong impact, good or bad. Wouldn't we want to strive to make it a good impact? Even if someone has hurt you, throwing stones doesn't help. Sometimes in the long run it only makes you feel worse.

I believe one way to maintain the self control over our tongue that James encourages is to stay in Gods word. In constant conversation with him. What goes into our bodies also come out, this doesn't just apply to food. When we meditate over and study God's word it will be what flows from our spirit into our daily lives, in the way we act and the words we speak.

So you like me may be thinking... Ok well if someone it's a follower of God and does wrong then what does it matter what I say to or about them? It means everything!!!!!! V. 9 say "Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it breaks out into curses against those who have been made in the image of God." Genesis 1:27 "So God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself; male and female he created them." So he didn't create some in his image it clearly says all people. Even the ones who tick us off. So telling someone off to make yourself feel better in essence is like telling it to the face of God.

Also Jesus teaches in Matthew that false prophets can be detected by the way they act, you can identify a tree by it fruit. We don't want to be confused with the false prophets due to the way we can't control our tongue!!!!! Wear and bear your fruit proudly, show self control in all the things you say and do.

Easter Sunday

2010-04-04T04:26:00.000-07:00

WOW! How great a day this is. Now that I have a child myself, the sacrifice to let ones son die for the sins of all mankind means so much more. I mean, seriously is there even close to being a greater sacrifice? I don't think so!

This past week I have really had my eyes opened to the blessings of our God! I lost one of my jobs and as angry as I was at first it didn't take long to realizied how I had just been blessed! This was the perfect time of year for this to happen to me. I have never before been able to find the perfect scripture for my situations but boy did God just start letting the scripts come rolling this time...

I immedately thought of... Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plan to give you hope nad a future." After thinking this scripture I could no longer be angry, I was jumping for joy. God knows why he took me away for that place he is protecting me from what? I don't know and really I don't care because I'm not in charge God is and with all my faith resting in him there is no need for questions.

After losing the job, Noah has been going through some strange stuff. He got the worst diaper rash I had ever seen and ever time he would get changed he would just SCREAM. This was the beginning of my first heart break as a Mother. There was nothing I could do to soothe him all I could do was pray. So that I did, loud and hard! God listens so well! It wasn't long and "sugarbug" was feeling so much better. His tears stopped and so did mine!

Psalm 62:5-8 "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone: My hope comes from him. He his my rock and salvation; He is my fortress and I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my nighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people pour your hearts out to him, for God is our refuge.

James 1:2-4 "Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opprotunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything."

God formed us to be capable for these "challenges" in life, but he gave us a choice of how to handle them on the day that Jesus died. The blood was shed so that we can choose him, faith in the Almight.

Week 1

2010-01-28T18:05:00.000-08:00

Well it's been a week almost in my weight loss challenge and it's not been easy! This week has been so busy and therefore I've only made it to the gym once. My eating habits have not been that great either. I haven't been snacking on bad things but I haven't really cut back on eating. I know if I can't get to the gym I need to cut back on calories big time. I will start a new job next week, hopefully I'll manage my time and workout sessions better. I have a workout dvd I can do at home if I have too. It's looking like it might come to that point. The weather says it's going to be a big time snow this weekend so I'll be suck inside and should have plenty of time to do a workout dvd. Weigh-in is on Sat on I will not be at my mom's, I perfer her scales over mine, so I'll will have to weigh in on mine if it snows. Oh well, there is my update. Hopefully next week it will be more up lifting and exciting:)

Weight Loss Challenge

2010-01-21T08:17:00.000-08:00

So with a baby almost 5 months old and still 11 pounds heavier than my pre-baby weight something has got to give. I love to eat, I love to eat healthy stuff but the bad stuff taste so much better. I also have a hard time knowing when enough is enough. Well, some of my girlfriends decided to do a "weight loss challenge". most of us have recently had babies so still have the post-baby weight. We are putting x amount of $ in and at the end of 8 weeks the winner (who loses most) get the $. WHAT MOTIVATION!!!! I'm so excited! Excited to lose the weight, eat healthy, and also teach myself some self-control! So with all this said I figured that this would be something fun to blog about. So blogging friend follow me though this 8 week adventure, and if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to share. I also am asking for prayer though this new adventure, esp for self-control (from bad food, and being lazy).

Also some other thing going on in my life... I'm thinking about going back to work part-time. I love being home with my baby boy! It's just not paying the bills. Okay well, the little work I'm doing now is paying the bills but it's not putting extra in my pocket. Going back even part-time will change alot of things for me, alot of things I've planned and things I've got used to in the past 4 months. So please again pray with me on this matter. I need a clear vision of Gods will for me and his guidance.
Thank you blog friends, I love you all. My his blessings be with you in all your day

Kissing the face of God!

2009-12-16T07:37:00.001-08:00

Wow! What a way to bring tears to a Mom's eyes! I was rocking my 3 month old son to sleep as I listen to the song. When it says "when you kiss your little baby you have kissed the face of God." I thought... we are all made in Gods image, so as I kiss my son I am kissing the face of God. What an amazing gift! As he lays there sleeping with all his innocence (that will one day be lost because he is human) I just pray and thank God for his miracles in life and the gift of salvation that he offered by sending his Son!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFPHIK9ann8

His smiles, His cries...

2009-10-19T17:46:00.000-07:00

Noah woke me up about 8:00am today. As I put him in the bed with me he gave me this huge grin, what a way to start the day:) Later through the day he became very cranky. He cried for hours, I was wondering if I could run away, Haha! I could do nothing to make him happy, which brought me to tears more than a few times. Daniel came home to relieve me of Mommy-hood for a period long enough to go to Walmart to get stuff for dinner. As I drove away in tears, I smiled at the vision of the smile I received first thing this morning. So I ask God Please teach me to be the Mother that you have entrusted me to be.

New Mommy...

2009-10-16T12:33:00.000-07:00

Wow it's been almost 1 year since I last wrote on here... my so much has happen since then. I'm a Mommy now. Mr. Noah Jacob Rose was born on Sept 5 2009 at 9:37 pm. He weighted in at 7.4 and was 20.5 in long. Do I need to add that he is absolutely perfect! He arrived after quite the labor process. I guess all women have an idea of what they think labor is going to be like. Well, let me just say I was all wrong! First of being pregnant wasn't what I thought it would be. I hate to say it but I really didn't enjoy it at all. I was sick alot and swollen. Looking back now I guess I shouldn't complain. I went into labor about 2:00am on 9/5/09. I got into the tub to see if my contraction were the real thing. I called my Mom to get her to help me time them. They were about 5 mins apart for about an hour. After getting beautified, I woke my hubby and told him it was time. We waited til the contractions were 3 mins apart for 30 mins, then off we went. Daniel said he was upset he didn't even get to speed to the hospital. There was no traffic on the road after all it was like 4 something in the morning, and once in the car my contraction were back at 5 mins apart. Once at the hospital I was at 4 cm dilated. At this point what I thought was going to be a natural labor seemed fine. Yea, so I had all intentions of having an all natural labor, no pain meds. Well, finally at 1:00 or so I was still dilated at a 4 and the pain was more than I ever imaged. So I broke down and got an epidural, what a relief that was! Time went by, pain free. Finally I made it to full dilation, time to push. After 4 hrs of pushing and still no baby, we were told that we needed to have a c-section due to some dangers to the baby. Oh my at this time all I wanted was my baby in my arms. Being rushed into an emerg c-section was no fun and kinda scary. Finally he came into this world at 9:37 pm and perfect!!!!!!

Then I came home, I cried all the way home and when I got here I put him on the changing table a just cried. A mix of emotions over came me. This little being was all mine, God put him in my life for me to protect, love, and raise. Was I able to do that, and what did I do to deserve something so great? I had a feeling of guilt because the labor hadn't went at all like I had planned. Crazy I know, like I had control over it. The first 2-3 weeks at home are a blur now. Oh my, how lack of sleep will do crazy things to a persons body and emotions!

Now life is at it's new normal. I love little Noah more than life itself. I prayed so hard for this little maricle and God answered my prayer with the confidence that I could do it. He'll not give you more than you can bear although you may feel like your going to break at times. You may even find yourself breaking, but through God's grace we are put back together. After being a mother for 6 weeks, Noah has brought to reality how much God loves me and how he wants me to be a Women of God.

2008-11-03T12:27:00.000-08:00

What a crabby day!!!!! I know I haven't written a blog in a while, although I have been meaning to. I figured since I had a few minutes at the JOB I'd give the blog an update. This past weekend I attended the Women Of faith concert. I cannot begin to express how awesome it was! I'm very amazed seeing a large amount of people doing the same thing at the same time. (Weird I know) Seeing like 13,000 Women in one room worshipping the same God was mind blowing. On Friday night I went in and I just wanted to cry but didn't know why. Later it hit me when I heard someone say it on the internet. "The presence of God just bring you to tears". Thats what it was it was so amazing! Just the feeling of his presence in that place made me want to fall to my knees and cry. Natalie Grant had a concert that night, I got to meet her and get an autograph:) I was so excited! She is such an idol of mine. Her song "Held" helped me see though a very hard time in my life a few years back. The weekend was incredible!

Then Monday comes and I'm like BLAH!!!!! I get so sick and tired of hearing others talk about their problems sometimes. I always brag because I feel like I'm such a good friend and I always have a ear to listen. Today though I'm just like "zip it, i don't want to hear it". Am I getting old or something? This feeling has happen to me alot lately. I have friends tell me I'm moody and sassy acting. I used to never be like that. What's my deal.

I ate like crap all weekend, so I feel fat and unhappy. I can't wait to go to the grocery store today to buy some healthy food.

Then with all this election stuff going on, oh my. I'll be so glad when it is over. I do think that no matter who gets elected someone isn't going to be unhappy. So I'm kinda worried about people after election. I can be so emotional sometimes. I feel my heart break almost everyday from something I hear go on in the world. I hate to think that bad things will happen to people because of an election. No, not because of an election but because of how others reacted to the election. CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? Isn't that what Jesus wanted?

So until next time. I have a few blogs in the works but not finished

A current "Battlefield of the mind"

2008-10-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

I've been ponding over this blog for about a week. The reason for the ponding is A. I haven't been feeling so well this week, but B. Satan has totally been trying to defeat me. I have always heard friends of mine talk about "not feeling good enough in Christ". You know the "Why would God help me, I'm so unworthy". Or feeling like they are not a strong enough believers to help others, "I don't know enough about the bible", "I haven't been a Christian long enough", etc. Well, I have always been so grateful that I have never really dealt with those feeling in my life. I know God loves me as I am, he forgives me for my sins, and in his eyes I will always be a princess. In my mind Satan could never tell me that I wasn't good enough to serve my God. Well that all changed this past Sunday. To start the morning off... I got up, started getting ready to go to church and was very unmotivated. I continued to get ready just very slowly with the mindset if I run late I prob. won't go but I'll get ready anyway. I got on the computer and received an email from someone asking if I could teach our children's church, they were sick. So with that I got ready with a hurry. I figured the children would brighten my unmotivated day. I was right! I had a blast with the kids as I always do. After, I needed to speak with the pastor about starting a "Sunday school"class (something I've been praying about). He told me about the future plans to begin this in our church and I told him I was very excited and loved the book I was considering for this. Now, don't get me wrong when I say that he seemed very uninterested or distracted when talking to me. I know he had a meeting to go to and was in a slight hurry. Although, that is when Satan decided to think he could step into my thoughts. On my drive home I was very emotional. I started crying and began to think... "what am I thinking, I can't do a bible study. With a past like mine, and the crazy life I've lived. Besides I don't know God's word that good. I can't believe I even considered doing this." Then it hit me that I was having a major "battlefield of the mind". Of course when I realized what was happening I prayed in the name of God that it stopped. So ever since Sunday I've been dealing with this in my head. Not so much the I'm not good enough part but the I can't believe I fell for Satan's trap part. so I would love everyone's help in prayer. I'm praying that God will show me the right direction to go with this bible study.

I doing a Donna Paltrow study "How to become the women God wants you to be in 90 days. A study of Proverbs 31, A wife of noble character. When I began the study I told myself I was just going to browse through it and not really pour myself into it. I wanted to be able to do it with a study class and really pour my heart into it then. Well, since Sunday that has changed also I want to begin pouring myself into this study, I do feel that it is what God wants. Of course Satan tries his best to make that not happen. so I'm praying for the self discipline to find quiet time daily to do this study.

Well now that I have totally gotten off the path that I originally though this blog was going to take (funny how that always seems to happen). I hope that you will help me to pray about this. Know that I do appreciate all my blog buddies and love your comments of encouragement and thoughts. Maybe next time I'll blog about what this was originally going to be... Purpose driven life.

To live is to live as...

2008-10-01T15:07:00.000-07:00

Do you ever think about what it really mean to live as Christ, or should I say as a Christian? Well I do. I mean, I pretty much grew up in church so I have a good idea of what it means but just about the time you think "I've got this Christian walk thing under control" the trip and fall hurts pretty bad. So I feel like it's never to much to go back and read scripture again about how to live. After all the bible is the living word, the sword of the spirit. So why wouldn't we want to read over and over again how Jesus wants us to live our life?

So through studying, praying, and reading scripture I wanted to share this...

In John 3, Nicodemus came to Jesus and ask him what do we do to see the kingdom of God? Jesus replied, "I assure you, unless you are born again, you can never see the kingdom of God."

Step 1. Being born again. What does that really mean? It means you are a new creation! How great is that. All the old is gone, it 's time to start over, from scratch. Who loves homemade biscuits from scratch? I do... Your new creation, made from scratch is going to be as fresh and wonderful as Granny's homemade biscuits! Corinthians 5:17 says "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things become new."

2. The next part of living a christian life is my absolute favorite, especially in today's world. With all the new technology, economic status, jobs, money, etc it is so easy to get caught up in the things of this world! I have been dealing with this, this week. Satan has been trying to eat at me and try to make some of the modern day tech. a vast majority of my life. I'm sure everyone is familiar with Myspace. Well, for me this week myspace has been troublespace. I'm sure that is exactly what Satan wants it to be! Through this I have had to keep reminding myself of this scripture... Romans 12:2 "And do not be conformed to the things of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Do you ever think about how much time these worldly things take up of your life and if they are really good for your mind? Are they taking time away from you and God, weather it be in scripture or in prayer. I kid you not I know between myspace and facebook God sometimes gets neglected. How is it I can feel so bad if I neglect calling or seeing a friend but if I neglect God I say "I'll make up for it later". When God sent his son to die on the cross he had me first on his list along with whoever reads this, so why is it so hard to have him first on our list. Brings tears to my eyes thinking about it.

3. Okay so on to whats next... Loving others. This can be a hard one to swallow. I'm sure at a point in time we have "not loved someone", maybe out of anger or even fear. Well, scripture says in John 13:34-35 "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." Let me point out that Jesus didn't state I think it would be a good idea to love one another, he commanded that we love each other. I suspect that if you are a believer you don't steal or kill? I mean they are some of the ten commandments, well I'm sure Jesus didn't mean for Loving each other to be any less of a commandment. It is also written in Leviticus 19:18 "Never seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am Lord." That entire verse is important but what strike me is the I am Lord, it didn't just come from anybody it came straight from our glorious Lord

4. To live as Christ taught... I would hope that it is pretty obvious that to live a christian life we must follow the teachings of Christ. In studying this point I found that the book of Matthew is full of Christ teachings. So many I was really at a lost of what to give you as scripture. Here are just a few of my favorites...

Matt. 7:7-8 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be open to you. For everyone who ask receives, he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks , the door will be opened."

Matt. 5:8 "Blessed are those pure in heart, for they will see God."

Matt. 15:11 "What goes into a man's mouth does not make him unclean, but what comes out of his mouth, that is what make him unclean."

When it comes to living out Christ teachings the best advice I have is to read the book of Matthew. Learn the teachings that he has left us to live by. Trust me it's no "cake walk" because we are but mere humans. God doesn't expect us to walk this life without stumbles and falls, but he does expect us to lean on him not only in the time of stumbles and falls but in all times. Remember that's way he sent his son to die on the cross, so we didn't stumble and fall alone.

5. Okay this is the last point I have... Sharing your faith. I guess we can all agree that to share the faith we must become disciples. So I started by looking up the definition of disciple. I found...1. To train, to teach, or to bring up. 2. To make disciples of; to convert to doctrines or principles. Then I looked up the definition of Christian and found... 1. A real disciple of Christ; one you believes in the truth of the Christian religion, and studies to follow the example, and obey the precepts of Christ, a believer in Christ who is characterized by real piety. What an awesome definitions. So to share our faith we must become a Christian disciple of our lord. The scripture says... Matt. 5:14-16 "You are the light of this world- like a city on a mountain, glowing in the night for all to see. Don't hide your light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it shine for all. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly father. " In the sharing of your faith you must live out the teachings of Christ and take up your cross daily. Sharing of faith is not just lip service, it's in our actions also. Anyone can hear us say how good God is but until they see his fruit in our spirit will it really make a difference? I think not.

Like I said earlier, living the Christian life is not always easy. Before we are a child of God, Satan has full control over us. When we become a new creation in Christ we are always protected but I believe Satan strives to get us to fall into his traps. He is constantly looking for our weakness so he can try to lead us into his trap and devour our new born life. Satan has a plan... To make us question God, handle our problems on our own, see sin as appealing, make us feel like failures, and he makes us delay things in our lives. The good news is Gods plan is bigger and better. God is still in control. He is God and has control over Satan. One day Satan will be bound forever. Let me lastly add that our most affective weapon against Satan is our sword of the spirit ( the word of God). Constantly stay in the word of God and learn his scriptures and Satan doesn't stand a chance.

The Truth

2008-09-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

Well, My husband spent the night away from home last night (at a friends house) and boy did he come home with some interesting stories!

I want to first off say that I am not judging anyone. I don't hold others beliefs against them if they don't believe like me. I do though stand firm to my belief in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

Ok well at the gathering last night I was told there was alot of talk about God vs. Evolution. There were about 25-30 people there altogether and about 5-8 involved in the conversations at various times. Out of the 5-8 involved only 2 people openly confessed to being believers in God. My heart just aches at the thought of it. My thought is were there others who believe but were afraid to confess? Jesus said “But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven” (Matt. 10:33). What a terrible thing to be denied before God.

I also recently was reading some scripture that I have prob. read 100 times but God spoke to me as I was reading and I realize that if you deny Christ you are the antichrist. Our last days will be distinguished by the antiChrist which it talks about in Revelations but there are warnings through the bible...The warning is given in 1 John 2. “Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son” (v. 22). “Let that therefore abide in you, which ye have heard from the beginning. If that which ye have heard from the beginning shall remain in you, ye also shall continue in the Son, and in the Father” (v. 24). “But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him” (v. 27). Clearly, this denial of Christ is the result of denying the true doctrine. No wonder Jesus said that to reject His word is to reject Him. “He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day” (John 12:48). In v. 22 I understand it to say that if you are to deny Christ you to are the AntiChrist. What a terrible thing to be called the AntiChrist.

Also in speaking of denying Christ... Is it only done with the words that do or don't come from our mouth? I think not, I do believe it goes much deep than that. It is shown in the actions we take. The Bible is our instruction book on life, it tells us everthing we need to know about anything. How to eat, sleep, breathe, and live. It leaves nothing out, although if you go looking for something without asking God for help it is usually slighty hard to find. With his help though he shows you a way of understanding words that is amazing. Remember it's easy enough for a child to understand.

So how else can we deny Christ if not only by words, well by actions. Confessing to being a believer is more than just confessing his name. To praise God and give him thanks is great but to live day to day practicing as God ask in his word is the ultimate confession. If we do not live up to what Jesus has taught us, we are denying him and his word. The ultimate sacrifice was given for our lives, is it to much to ask that we sacrifice the worldly ideas to live as Jesus ask, to be true confessers in Christ?

I started this blog not relizing that I had this much to say but I feel relieved now, but still heart broken for the ones out there that don't have a clue. I pray daily for unbelievers and hope others do too, but we are nothing more than a fraud to them if all we do is confess by mouth and not by actions. Toby Mac said it in a song and I'll leave you with that as my ending... Do you want to gain the world to lose your soul? Are you willing to make the sacrifice?

Today is a wonderful day...

2008-09-24T06:01:00.001-07:00

Today is a wonderful day... because I woke up to come to a job, see my wonderful friends, and I got to kiss my wonderful husband bye before I left.

It been a while since I posted my first blog. I went on my church Womens retreat. It was GREAT. Our speaker Carla was wonderful. I went with one of my BFF, Megan. It was great getting to spend some long overdue time with her. Our weekend was very eventful, worshiping, fellowshiping, and shopping.
Our speaker had some really interesting things to talk about...
Our first day she spoke on Truth. Do you ever think about how many lies we are surrounded by in ever day life? Think about it... Most all TV ads consist of lies, what about the little white lies we say everyday because we think it just doesn't matter, or because we don't want to hurt someone feelings. This is my favorite (soapbox) lie... What about when we tell our children about Santa Clause, the tooth fairy, or even the Easter bunny. Fun or not it is still a lie! We are to live our lives as much like Jesus as we can. OK we all know that that it is impossible to live a sinless life cause we are humans but shouldn't we make an effort to be truthful in everything we do. Jesus was nothing but truth, he will never be anything less of that! So next time you tell a little white lie, don't beat yourself up about it. Just make the conscience effort to catch yourself and not do it.

When I get time later I will go into some more of what we talked about.

My First...

2008-09-18T06:31:00.000-07:00

Wow... My first blog. I guess you could kinda look at this like a diary. A public diary. Well, today stared off with a headache. Not a good way to start the day. I've felt a little under the weather lately. Today is seeming to get better though, I hope do because I leave to go to the beach tomorrow. CAN'T WAIT.

So I plan on using my blogs to get things off my chest, good and bad. I also hope to get back into writing some poetry. Growing up I use to write all the time. Now I seem to never have the time, or can't really think of stuff to write about. I think people seem to write more when things are not going so well for them. Well, thats what I want to change with this blog. I want to write no matter how things are going. Kinda like talking to God, people seem to do it more when they need to talk to him about a crisis in their life. In all reality we need to talk to him daily! After all he is our Father, Husband, ect.

So, I'm excited about this. I hope sticking to it is easy as I plan... I hope people will enjoy reading my blogs and joy me in discussing anything I write about.